Tuesday, October 28, 2014

The Demise of Princess Pinhead (repeat)

Well I was going to review JD Robb’s last two books, Delusion in Death and Calculated in Death, because they were the last two books I read – both in hardback as I wanted, nee required, a break from my Kindle and my laptop. But for some reason it felt beyond arrogant to assume to write and then publish reviews of these books as though my opinion of them means anything. The reviews I’ve written previously have been requested of me and that, my friends, is quite different in my opinion than assuming to write an unsolicited review of someone else’s hard work.

As a newly published author I look for new reviews regularly. I beg for them, I chew on my nails in anticipation of getting one; and when I do I analyze every word, even a positive one can send me into fits, but a negative one can send me spinning. But surely Nora Roberts/JD Robb wouldn’t lose any sleep over what I thought. Seriously? Who am I?

I can just see it now. I post my lackluster review and Nora Roberts promptly signs into her Facebook account crying on the virtual shoulders of her author support group. “She just didn’t get what I was trying to impart. Should I respond? Should I explain that what she thinks was missing the editor had me remove? Does she even read that genre? How could she be so mean????”

And Nora’s friends sympathize; [nod] they’ve been there. “That BITCH!” “You’re a better writer than that.” “Don’t engage, Nora.” “You’re officially an author now!” “I loved your book, honey.”

Please realize that Nora Roberts FB author group consists of similarly talented and successful authors like Tami Hoag, Maya Banks, Julie Garwood, Debbie Macomber, Jasinda Wilder and Linda Lael Miller.

Then Nora would get angry. “Yeah, screw Becky Flade!” [I would die a thousand deaths if Nora Roberts ever thought those words. Of course just being on her radar would be the ultimate feather in my cap.] She’d start calling me Princess Pinhead. And then the entire group would start calling me Princess Pinhead. They’d avoid me on social media, not sending me their awesome books to read. It would get abbreviated to PP. Which sounds way to much like going #1, which some smart ass, probably from Philly, would run with I’m sure. They’d reassure each other every time someone got a crap-ass review by posting funny/clever pictures on-line ridiculing Princess Pinhead.

It’s not worth it. I can’t take that kind of rejection over a silly, unsolicited review. Don’t hate me Nora. I’m not a Pinhead – I love your books.

*This entire post is hypothetical, of course. I loved both books to death! I got them Friday; started Delusion on Saturday morning and finished Calculated Sunday night. I’m just having a bit of fun at my own expense. My friends will get the joke :)

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