Did you ever just want to scream but know you shouldn't? Cry, without reason? Have you ever thought about just hitting someone below the belt for the sheer satisfaction of knowing they never saw it coming? And yet no matter what, you keep on smiling all the while deep in the recesses of your mind you are considering hurting as many people as possible in as efficient a manner as possible?
If you answered yes to any of the above questions [particularly the last], I welcome you to my club. I'm calling it passive-aggression for the chronically stupid, a/k/a PACS. It's difficult to qualify for this club as our standards are very difficult to achieve with any type of consistency. It takes real dedication to subjugate yourself to the level PACS requires for admission. We are very elite.
Step 1: Repress all negativity and turn it inwards
Step 2: Always accept blame
Step 3: Always admit defeat
Step 4: Never expect anything from anybody but constantly try to meet the expectations of others
Step 5: Rarely speak your mind and apologize instantly when you do
Occasionally, negativity will build to the point of explosion. In which case you expect to become snappy with loved ones and you normally patient demeanor will be come easily frustrated and, often, mean. But if you can learn to deal with putting the rest of the world above yourself, and with regularity, you will be a wonderful [miserable] addition to the PACS family.
The President and Founding member of the Passive-Aggression for the Chronically Stupid