Friday, February 11, 2011

Black Thumb (literally)

I am, by virtue of my very nature, chronically clumsy.  Even the simplest of activities are punctuated with the predictable:  Ow, Fuck!  Which is frequently followed by:  How in the hell did you manage to do that??  Of course, I never know exactly how I managed to do whatever it is I did that resulted in another injury.  If I knew how I did it I could recreate it and arguably, have prevented it from happening in the first place. 

Some injuries of note:  Sprained ankle playing touch football; smashed ankle from falling off a ladder at work; too many broken toes to count with most recent being from walking up a flight of steps; tripping over gas hose, falling into plate that attractively covers gas cap & breaking said plate off van; falling off treadmill that hadn't been turned on yet... the list is pretty extensive but you get the point. 

My newest injury is perhaps the most incredible.  After Wednesday's aerobic step class, which was packed to the gills, I hurried into the locker room intending to get in one of the 6 showers before a line formed.  Honestly, how wants to be naked, sweaty and uncomfortable in line with a bunch of other sweaty naked women?  Not I.  In my rush to beat, well, the rush, I jammed my thumb down into the elastic band of my crew socks and pulled down.  HARD.  Sock did not move.  Thumb did but in an unnatural direction.  Two days later, I'm in a split that immobilizes my thumb, palm & wrist.  It's a disgusting shade of blue & purple.  I'm also on meds and awaiting an MRI that will tell the doctor's whether I ruptured a ligament and need surgery.

Yes ladies and gentlemen, at 34 years of age, I can't manage to undress in a hurry without injury.  I dare anyone, anywhere, to find someone more accident prone.

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