Monday, September 27, 2010

Busy Busy Day

I've entered the mystifying world of the soccer mom. Only instead of soccer it's Tae Kwon Do. I'm not getting home till 12 hours after I left the house at which time I need to eat dinner and then do almost an hour worth of homework with a tired six year old. Then it's get her ready for bed, clean up, and try to find five minutes for me. It's totally worth it to see her in this adorable little outfit (do-bak already got a look over calling them pajamas) doing kicks and punches and saying HI-YA and YES SIR. I know it's not supposed to be freaking adorable but it really is. I'm so glad I'm in a position to do these things with her.

I've only got the two girls; six and seventeen. The seventeen year old was born 19 days after my 17th birthday. Most of her childhood is a blurry memory of me always saying goodbye; as I headed to work, as I headed to school. I finished college right after her fifth birthday and our relationship was uniquely unlike any other I've seen between a mother and daughter. I know I did right by both of us but often feel as though perhaps we were both jypped of the relationship we should have had and that ultimately she deserved.

I'm afraid at times that I am overcompensating for the lack of parenting I'm afraid denied my oldest. But then I remind myself of the tee-ball games I sat thru and the treks in the rain to girl scouts, and I know that while my oldest may not have had the most traditional mom in the world, she never did without. And the sacrifices we both did make over the years helped form her into a an independent and self-sufficient young woman. Qualities I honestly believe she acquired out of necessity and so few people seem capable of anymore.

While I am eternally grateful that my younger daughter will not have to learn by that same necessity, I do in fact hope that she will learn those valuable traits too.

With any luck, the Tae Kwon Do will help.

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